i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
