Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
