it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
