Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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