Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
