So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
