Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
