it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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