Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
