My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
