how can u be prego again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
