I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
