Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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