I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
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