Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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