my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
