Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
