It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
