It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
