if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
