you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
