he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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