stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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