so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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