Your tits are I can't wait for
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
