He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
