i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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