He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
