i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
