I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
