have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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