i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
