just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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