we're blogging at a bar
Cold hands, warm shart.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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