Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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