Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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