im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
