I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
