hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize