I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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