I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
