How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
