God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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