bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
