she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
