OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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