Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
