You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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