Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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