I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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