I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
