FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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