There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
