erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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