I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i would one night stand the shit outta him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
